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Stop Giving Your Partner The Silent Treatment

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New research shows it’s pointless. So why do people still do it? BF_STATIC.timequeue.push(function () { if (BF_STATIC.bf_test_mode) localStorage.setItem(‘posted_date’, 1407967655); }); BF_STATIC.timequeue.push(function () { document.getElementById(“update_posted_time_3416938”).innerHTML = “posted on ” + UI.dateFormat.get_formatted_date(1407967655); });

1. You want to resolve an issue, but your partner refuses to participate.

Stop Giving Your Partner The Silent Treatment

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Sound familiar?

2. An analysis of 74 studies found that couples that engage in a particular pattern of avoidance can ruin their relationship.

Stop Giving Your Partner The Silent Treatment

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Paramount Pictures / Via redditian.com

A demand/withdraw pattern happens when one person approaches the other wanting attention — or with a criticism — and is met with silence.

3. You might get pissed and feel like they’re being emotionally unavailable. On the other side, you might feel like you’re being nagged.

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But if it’s so common, why is it necessarily a bad thing?

4. Couples that have fallen into the pattern have a hard time breaking it.

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Basically both partners see the other person as the problem, suggests researcher Paul Schrodt.

5. And it’s a huge red flag of distress, mentally and physiologically.

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Not only are you less happy in your relationship, you can have less intimacy and probably have worse communication — and that can manifest itself as anxiety and other effects, like erectile dysfunction.

6. Talk it out!

Stop Giving Your Partner The Silent Treatment

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There are infinite resources from psychologists who specialize in anger and relationship problems at your fingertips. Start digging!

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/kasiagalazka/stop-giving-your-partner-the-silent-treatment