A great quote by the late George Carlin:
“If you’re looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That’s not self-help, that’s help!”
Brilliantly funny, yet very profound if you dig deeper.
I’m here to start talking about self-help and the little nuances involved; the little things that actually go a long way for you and your life.
I’ve been blogging in the personal development niche for over a year now.
I’ve written 200 articles, got 50 over guest posts published and also coached several people online.
Now the thing is, I’m not your typical self-help “guru” who writes about personal development.
I’m real. I inject a very personal and real tone in my articles, all in the goal of helping you out.
Is Self-Help Actually Helping You?
If you answered no, it’s okay.
There’s a huge problem with self-help.
It’s not real.
That means it’s not realistic and certain aspects of self-help actually borders on being lies, straight up.
Also, people in need of real help have come to rely on self-help so much that they actually forget about themselves. They forget how much real potential they have and the importance of creating real life experience to harness that potential.
How often have you read about cliché advice? Things like, “Look on the bright side of life”?
Or have you wondered why, after reading up on so self-help that you still don’t feel like a better person?
That’s where the problems come in.
How to Truly Utilize Self-Help
It’s time to be real.
Relying on self-help is okay, but you need to step back now and then to really reflect and get out there to create a better life, your way.
And that’s the only way to actually get better in fact.
Here are 4 ways to keep it real with self-help:
1) Get out there for real experience
You want to be a better person?
Then you need real life experience.
Sooner or later you’re going to have to just stop with the self-help books, the personal development blogs, seminars or even therapy.
These are all fine and good, but remember that it is real experience from life that actually makes up your life.
This is means you need to start going out there and make mistakes. Failure is what gives you clarity.
You also need to start interacting with people. Forming relationships is how you actually grow as a person as you’d learn things about others and yourself.
Nothing beats real experience. They form visual memories you can hold on to, something books can never do.
2) Learn from people’s mistakes and failures too
More often than not we’re drawn to the positive and even perfectionist nature of self-help. This is where we get inspired by authors or speakers.
Inspiration is always good, but don’t forget that these inspiring people are also human, meaning they’re not without flaw.
The best way, in my opinion is to learn from their mistakes and failures.
This is how you can really build a connection and truly learn to grow as a person.
I personally think that many people take inspiration too far. We want to mimic others’ success, but we forget that we need to create our own path to be a better person.
Remember, self-help authors or speakers create their own path. You need to create yours too.
3) Stop reading, start helping
Hit the point where self-help doesn’t seem to serve its purpose of actually helping anymore?
Then you know what? It’s a sign to you.
It’s a sign that you’re actually ready to start being the helper and even the inspiration.
As with gaining real life experience, helping others is one of the best ways to effectively aid you and heal you of whatever you’re suffering from.
If you think your life isn’t that great, there’re a ton of people out there who have it worse. You just don’t see it.
It’s time for you to step it up and take control of the reins. Get out there and start helping people.
4) Be patient
Above all else, be patient.
Reading a single book or attending one seminar isn’t going to cure all your problems over night.
Some real life experience of getting out there all the time and helping others isn’t going to make you elevated immediately too.
If it was that easy, the whole world would be at peace.
Give yourself time.
Don’t buy into claims of self-helps where they tell you would feel “instantly” better or your life would be “changed”.
Self-help is simply there to guide you and inspire you. Use it for your life, but don’t let it take over your life.